No, for those of you "Today Show" devotees out there, this is not in reference to Kathy Lee Gifford's song and segment that they do daily (which, by the way, is my least favorite part of the entire 4 hour long "Today Show;" I turn it off the last 30 minutes in protest). During our Bible study Wednesday night, Cheryl Killam encouraged everyone to get their "story" down. As she shared her testimony with the group, I was struck by how much my own story has changed since the last time I've shared it publicly. Given the challenge to not only be prepared to share my testimony, but even to write it down, here I am.
I don't have a particularly exciting story to share. I'm blessed to have parents devoted to following Christ and building whatever church we found home in at the time. I made a public profession of faith very young to our sweet minister at the time, Pastor Leaper, right after my baby brother was born, and was baptized just before I turned 8 in Calvary Baptist Church in Augsburg Germany. To quote my sweet husby, I had a "drug problem" growing up: whenever the church doors were open, I was "drug" to church. My dad was active duty Army, so we moved around a lot. Besides my family and their faith, the only constant was our church attendance, wherever that happened to be. I was involved in every children and youth function possible. That's not to say I didn't enjoy it; I can remember a couple of times in high school where my mom wanted me to stay home on a Wednesday night to study for a test or catch up on homework or something, and I wanted to go to church. (It helped that all my best friends were there, and my boyfriend, haha; Mom had me figured out.) Some of these friends and I were involved in a small group, where we were challenged and encouraged at that young age to seek out the Lord's best for our lives and not that making decisions for our lives without God's help often results in settling. The Lord was gracious enough to place wise adult mentors in that small group and others who were patient and honest and thought-provoking. I began to understand something at 17 that a lot of adult Christians have never figured out: our relationship with Christ is not all about what happens when we die, but instead involves all that He has in store for us here on earth.
That in mind, I went to Samford University. I was far from my family (8 hours!), car-less, and knew 2 people. There, for maybe the first time in my life, I developed a group of very close girl friends around me, instead of just my sister plus one or two girls. Just like in high school, most of my close friends were guys, but over time a definite pattern emerged that revealed who just "happened" to be there when I needed help or support or some fun time, and who seemed to "get" me. Looking back, it's obvious that the Lord was building a group that even now I can visit or call and they understand what I'm saying before I finish my sentence. (Example: "Are you there God, it's me Maile." How ridiculous is that? They get it.) And so as I battled normal growing pains and the abnormal stuff that came up, God was faithful and provided through the friends He placed around me.
My sweet husband snuck into my life my junior year. Brad and I had been friends for a while, in the group sorta way where you know the kind of person someone is, and have mutual friends but don't hang out one on one a lot. As we ran into each other more and more often, and our friendship developed, my sister called home and told my parents I was falling in love. It took a couple of tries to get us on the same page: I liked him but he wasn't really available, then later he asked me out and I was clueless. Finally, right before Brad graduated, we got it right. I think the Lord provided us both with clarity about where our relationship was going pretty early on. On the outside, Brad was not really anything like the kind of guy I thought I would marry: he doesn't like crowds, he watches ENDLESS amounts of sports, he doesn't enjoy the idea of parties dressing up or anything like it. All the important stuff that I prayed for have been met abundantly, though: he seeks after God's heart, wants to glorify Him in all things, works hard to meet the needs of our family, and seeks to learn more constantly. I am so blessed to be his wife.
After we were married about a year, the Lord began to work in Brad's heart to make him a little discontent with his job. He loved what he was doing, but as other churches contacted him about possibly moving there, Brad was definitely interested. I, on the other hand, was loving my job, and my best girl friend was moving back to Birmingham with her new husband. I rebelled and basically told God that we were going to stay in Birmingham and do His work there. This rebellion thing was new for me, and while I knew it was wrong, I didn't really know what to do with it. I was adament about staying put, and I hardened my heart towards helping Brad with what he was dealing with. I was at a Beth Moore conference about a month into this battle when a woman sitting next to me approached me. She walked up and didn't introduce herself; I had never seen her before, and haven't since. All she did was hand me a card with the words written "Just Go!" and a portion of a verse from Jeremiah that talks about trusting in God's faithfulness. Wow. I was overwhelmed with my unfaithfulness in the midst of uncertainty, and with God's desire to meet us where we are. I went home in tears that day and told Brad that I would go wherever he felt led, no questions. We moved to Dothan four months later and spent two extremely happy years there.
Brad and I now live in Pensacola, his home town. He's a youth minister in his home church. Although he once told me that he didn't think he'd ever want to be a youth minister, he loves what he's doing and is so good at it. It's been so cool to watch how God has changed Brad's heart towards his role in different ministries in the past few years. About 9 months after moving here I had a miscarriage. Brad was leaving for a trip the day we lost the baby. There was no way he could have gotten out of it, and I was home alone. I thought I could deal with the pain, emotional and physical, on my own. Thankfully the Lord knew better. My sister and her husband were in Orange Beach for the weekend with my grandmother, so I went and spent some time with them. What a blessing they were. My crazy, loud-mouthed brother in law told jokes and got my mind off of myself, then let Malia love on me and listen while I poured my heart out about how empty I felt. I've never felt empty like that before or since. In the months that followed, getting pregnant again was not easy. It took 7 months and medication and lots of prayer. Really, I believe that the process was more about my heart being ready to be a Mama than my body. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart..." it's true. I claimed that, and many other verses, as Brad and I went about our days as usual. I knew that the desire we had for a family was provided by Him, and that He would fuflill it one way or another. We have a precious 3 month old.
My mom has never really had consistent women friends, so I never saw how important that could be for women. I hate to use "Grey's Anatomy" in sharing my testimony, but you need a "person." You know- a friend who you can call about the most random, ridiculous questions, but also who will take you completely seriously when need be. Someone who doesn't question your quirky husband, or your need to spend a certain number of hours each week with teenagers. God has blessed the my life, especially the last 10 years, with more than one person, and I am constantly thankful. From family and friends to walk with us while we made life changing decisions, to girls who shared the struggles of fertility, Brad and I have been blessed beyond measure.
While my story may not be exciting or troubling, it is a story of God's faithfulness, mercy, and grace. You know that old phrase "But for the grace of God..." It describes so much of my life. There's no reason other than God's grace that I should have been spared the struggles that others around me have faced. Nothing in my life has been earned, but rather has been one blessing after another. Mine is a life thus far characterized too often by half-hearted attempts at glorifying the One who was, who is, and will be. My prayer is that as I grow and learn as a child of God, and as I figure out what the heck I'm doing in regards to being Brad's wife and Addison's mama, that my heart is drawn toward Christ; that I will be like David, a "man after God's own heart;" that my relationship with Christ will be the defining one in my life. Most of all I pray that as a result of this relationship I can encourage and point others to Him.
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