Happy Mother's Day
It's been a while, so Mother's Day seemed just as likely a day as any other lately to post something new, this time hopefully something worthwhile.  :)  I thought I might give a shout out to the moms in my life...

Mama...
I am so thankful for my mom.  She (along with Daddy) have shaped my life and my faith in ways that I hope and pray I pass on to my babies.  Mom has always devoted herself to what she and my dad thought was best for our family.  My dad has always come before us kids, in the way that he's supposed to, showing us that marriage is sacred and covenant and is the most important relationship - behind the one each individual has with Christ - in the family.  She was not ashamed to say that too, even when we (and so many other moms) must have made her feel like she should have been spending more time watching ballet practice, or fixing a three-course dinner, or spending time to herself.  (Frankly, I ate very well growing up; I'm not quite sure how she got any kind of meal, casserole, take-out, or otherwise, on the table after working all day and running us around.)  I am so thankful that she didn't spend her days trying to get "more" in, and that she worked and prayed diligently for us to become well-rounded followers of Christ.
Thanks Mom for all you did and do to make me a better me.

Missy...
What do you say about the woman who raised the man you love?  Missy and Pop raised a man who loves Jesus and tries daily to serve Him better by serving us and others.  I am so grateful for His background, and my relationship with his parents.  Sure, Missy probably sometimes thinks Brad is better and wiser than he is (I do too), and she certainly sees all things through rose-colored glasses, and often makes me (yes, ME! the eternal optimist!) look like a pessimist, but she treats me like a daughter and is full of wisdom and advice.  And she reminds me that "Brad came that way"... meaning all the crazy things he does come from somewhere, and they usually bring something wonderful too.  I am so grateful to count her as my friend; I know of few women as lucky with their in-laws.

my grandmothers...
I have two living grandmothers, Tutu and Grandma.  I was lucky enough growing up to know my great-grandmother, too.  Faithful mothers and wives, church attenders, etc.  Tutu is now as crazy as a loon (Mom, please don't show her this post) and Gram probably doesn't know what a blog is so she won't read this, but I love them and I love the kiddos they put out into the world.
I am often overwhelmed by the legacy of faith Brad and I have to share with our children.  I am so thankful.  It's only by the grace of God that we got so lucky.

Malia...
My sister lives far away.  She is married to a crazy guy we went to college with, who I still can't believe I'm legally related to, and they have a beautiful 11 month old.  It's sad that we only get to see each other a couple times a year.  She always remembers everything - birthdays, anniversaries, etc. - and sends a card or a note in the mail.  She reminds me that life doesn't have to be complicated, and I should take myself less seriously sometimes.  She's so grounding and real.  She sent me a mother's day card that said "You know how mom always said, 'Be nicer to your sister! One day she'll be your best friend!'..."  True statement.  Life is funny that way I guess.

Britton...
My sister in law was the first of my friends to have a baby.  She's taught me a lot about the "basics" I guess you'd call them: swaddling, which stroller to use, introducing food, when a temperature is too high, etc.  Before I even had a kid.  With every child (they're on #5) her life gets a little crazier but she get's a little more laid back, which I think has helped Brad and I adopt a more laid-back approach to the baby years.  I'm so thankful for her friendship, and for the relationship she maintains with Brad; it often comes in handy to have the voice of the logical older sister on my side.

"Mom" friends...
If you are a mom, you know you can't (and usually don't) do it alone.  We all read books or articles or watch reports on TV or ask our moms questions to affirm what we're doing with our kids.  I hope you're as lucky as I am to have friends, too, to call about everything from maternity clothes, to when to spank, to what happens when your child flies out of her crib.  I'm so, so thankful for these women.  After all, "it takes a village."

Brad...
No, he doesn't act like a mom.  At all.  But obviously he's a large part of this parenting team and he's a wonderful father and friend.  He laughs at the things I laugh at, helps me figure out what to do and how, and backs me up when I need it.  (This all may change when our gal hits puberty but still has Daddy wrapped around her finger, but for now it's working, haha.)  He seems to know just when I need an hour to myself - or a leisurely shower, or when we need a night without our munchkin.  I am so blessed by the gift of motherhood, and that obviously couldn't have happened without him.

Now, onto what's new in the Gowing household.  A brief list...
We close on our "new" house this week.  Yay!  Moving will be a chore, though.  Ugh.
Addison jumped out of her crib last week, so she's in a toddler bed.  We're going on 5 days with no nap, and right now she's singing her version of the ABC's at the top of her lungs from the bed.  Sigh.
Brad just got back from a 9 day mission trip to Ukraine working at a camp for orphans.  If he tells me another story, we may be adopting a teenager soon.
I'm 22 weeks pregnant.  (I think.)  I look like I'm 32 weeks pregnant.  Oh well.  We think it's a girl, and have another ultrasound next week to check it out.  Naming this one is going to be a battle.

Fighting off the "what-ifs"

Does anyone else get bogged down in the "what-ifs"?  I mean bogged down: can't get off Realtor.com; wish you could do something as cool as you saw on Pinterest; wish I wasn't so tired during A's naptime; what if we had another $100k to spend on a house; what if we lived in a different city; how did my house get so cluttered; why doesn't my table and dinner look like a 4 star restaurant; why do I waste my time doing this - kind of bogged down.  Not that I live in negative land; I'm not bummed about any of the things above.  (Believe me, I would love to have that extra 100k, but...)  I am completely realistic and feel like I use my time well and am excited for what the future holds for my little family.  But yesterday I just felt behind all day.  All day!

I have always had an extremely active imagination.  That's one reason I have always loved to read so much.  In 2nd grade I imagined my name next to Nancy Drew's.  In 4th grade I wondered how a cute boy from class (a prince, of course) could find away to climb up to my room to rescue me since I didn't have hair like Rapunzel.  (Would he use a hot air balloon?)  In high school my "what ifs" involved the future: what if my high school boyfriend follow me to Samford?  Would we get married and move back to Lakeland to live happily ever after?  In college my "what ifs" seemed to be about other people: what if I looked like her?  what if I had clothes like her?  What if?  What if?  What if?

Now it is simply an imagination thing: I watch a show about kidnapping and lay awake wondering what I would do in the same scenario.  The initial offer we made on a house didn't work out, so I spent the next two days "what iffing" how we will bring a baby home into this two bedroom house.

When it comes down to it - active imagination or not - none of this is really a good thing.  How much mental energy do I waste contemplating a life I don't have?  Or beating myself up over my lack of magazine-layout-home-making-ability?  Or how my child looks just "normal" in her Carter's outfit and crazy hair?  Or how much easier _____ would be if Brad would just ______.  It's just so ridiculous!  It drains me and makes me want to drain our bank account to get these things - as if they matter.  It makes me a tired and annoyed wife and mother.  When in reality I cannot imagine my life much better.  Most women would be green with envy if they knew all the stuff Brad does for us.  And I'm pretty sure that even on her "normal" days, A is the cutest gal ever, and I'm so thankful for her (usually) sweet disposition.

I am thankful for a God that is all-knowing and powerful, and still interested in the little things of my life.  After "what-iffing" myself yesterday into a frenzy of work in the kitchen and laundry, a new long list of homes to check out, a list of activities for A and I, and all around exhaustion, the Holy Spirit woke me up this morning.  I am fairly consistent about waking up early enough for a quiet time before Addie gets up, except on Fridays.  That's our morning for breakfast out with Brad, so I wake up running.  This morning, however, I was up eeeaaarrrllly, and not by my own design.  :)  God had some words for me about desires of the flesh vs. desires of the Spirit.  He reminded me that just because I've been a Christian for a long time doesn't mean the "old" self doesn't rear her ugly head every once in a while - or daily, haha - and I need live in the freedom He provides.  Amen.

Oh, by the way, this afternoon we negotiated a contract for a house I love.  I love how God works.

He is Risen! He is Risen indeed.

Hey all.  Dusting off the ole' blog today while we wait for Daddy to get home from church to celebrate Easter lunch.  I hope you found a place to worship this morning and celebrate our Savior's victory over death.

We have had such a laid-back spring.  Lots of new things happening - potty training attempts, serious house-hunting, Brad basically working two jobs, and a couple of fun trips - but nothing huge.  (Well, yesterday when A tee-teed in the potty for the first time, it was a pretty big deal, haha.)

Oh, and we're expecting baby number 2!  I just realized I never got around to posting that.  We are thrilled and can't wait until September to meet this little guy or gal.  This pregnancy has been very different from my first, so I can't help wondering if baby Gowing # 2 will be a boy.  Brad, however, is still convinced we are having two girls, and has been so confident he's almost made me a believer, too.  (It would be pretty great to have a sweet pair of girls to grow up to be close friends.  And wear cute matching clothes when they're little.) So we shall see what the Lord's blessed us with in a few weeks at our next ultrasound.

Easter this year has come at a time when I've been especially aware of God working in our family.  It seems that every few days A makes some "revelation" from the backseat of the car or her stroller or crib or something, and I am amazed that He is already using people like nursery workers and Sunday school teachers to reveal Himself to her.  Here's what I mean: we passed a church with a cross in the window on our walk the other day.  She pointed to it and said "Jesus."  I agreed that it had to do with Jesus, and told her it was called a cross.  She proceeded to tell me "Jesus loves you."  Yup.

The next day we were in the car and I was singing "He's got the whole world in His hands."  (We have so many relatives that this song takes on about 15 verses, so it took a while.)  When I was finished, A said "wide world in hands. Addie loved Jesus."  Does that mean she loves Him because He has the whole world in His hands?  Maybe.  There's no way she get's all of this from Brad and I.  I guess it's all about that "village".

So this Easter Sunday I was especially moved.  Not inspired, but reminded and renewed, and possibly in need of re-defining my definition of "faith" with regards to how I will teach my kids.  The words of one song we sang in worship this morning comes to mind.  I'm sure you've heard it, but I'll repeat it here...

In Christ alone my home is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm


What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand


In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save


Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live


There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again


And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ


No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny


No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand.

A few of my favorite things

I decided about 6 weeks ago that the best thing about parenthood was your child telling you she loves you, without being prompted.  I stand by that.  It is precious and heart-warming and wonderful.

Almost equally heart-warming is walking in on my sweet husband cuddled up and reading to our gal.

I also love that A is newly-proficient in putting shoes on.  She takes them on and off, over and over.  Quite entertaining.  This is from a few weeks ago.

A is also making all sorts of new faces, and has mastered the concept of "Cheese!"  She is definitely quite the ham.

Apparently she's excited about this cookie dough.

She can crawl up into the rocker on her own.
This is what I found.

"Cheese!"

                   
I am feeling abundantly blessed these days.  Tired from chasing the gal, but blessed.

Primary Elections - A season for yelling at the TV

I am not usually one to offend on purpose.  I am by nature a people-pleaser and tend to keep my mouth shut rather than arguing with people I know will disagree with what I say.  Especially when it comes to politics.  I am not very well-spoken, and get tongue-tied and later think of things that I should have said.  In my former line of work (teaching history), this happened enough times for me to learn my lesson and just keep quiet.  Maybe with the power of proof-reading I will not embarrass myself too much, and get a couple things out there.

I am WAY more conservative than I used to think.  I am definitively a Republican, married to a man who, unfortunately, could care less about the direction of our nation and rolls his eyes when I yell at the TV.  In the quiet of my living room, I have aligned myself with "moderates" on shows like Meet the Press (which until recently I watched every Sunday morning, without fail).  As this political season progresses, however, I have to admit I am so much more conservative than I thought.  And old school.  Examples: I don't want a woman president.  I don't want a young president.  I used to not be fazed by discussion of new federal laws passed and was okay with some social discussion on the federal level - I even once taught the FDR period and agreed with my students that social programs were a good thing!  (Oh how that's changed!)  I don't think parents of young kids should be president.  (Four years ago I thought it was unimaginable that people claimed Sarah Palin could still be an active parent for her children!)  Some of these things may be a result of my new role as a parent.  But mostly I think it has to do with age. (maturity???)

Here's where I stand, in case you were wondering:
I am a Republican by definition of the word: I believe in little government.  (Unfortunately, few Republican politicians remember that's what it means.)
I am a firm believer in the free enterprise system.
Abortion should be illegal.  If we can't make that work, it should absolutely not be funded by tax dollars.
Marriage should be between a man and a woman.
I disagree with every single Republican's opinion on education.
Welfare should have time limits, and maybe drug tests, involved.
I believe the place for social welfare starts in the church and community - it's scriptural.
Let's re-write the tax system!  Consider a combination of the graduated income tax or the flat tax idea?

I used to not feel that these things could be this simple.  I would argue with the television, or Rick and Bubba, or whomever that there needed to be caveats in order to make it work in society.  That's still probably true for most things.  I guess I've seen enough federal elections to realize that the media basically chooses what the public talks about, and therefore narrows our candidates for us.  (Ugh!)  And I don't like that in this coming election I will basically be forced to choose between a moral, conservative-living man who does not vote or govern conservatively, or a man who votes conservatively and does not live that way.  Call me crazy, but I want someone I can respect, and agree with on some things!  It would help if he could manage himself in a news conference, too.  Or at least be someone respectable.  Can't George Washington's spirit come over someone and run for president?  Oh wait - I don't believe in that.

Jesus is the Season of the Reason!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  (A little belated, I guess.)

I hope your Christmas was filled with laughter and love and surprise and little reminders that, as my nephew Ben says, "Jesus is the Season of the Reason!"  He said it with such confidence and excitement, over and over, and by the time Christmas morning rolled around I started getting the phrase backwards in my own head!  When that sweet three year old said it the right way at church on Christmas I was so disappointed; I liked it the other way coming from him.  Our little family joined Brad's parents and sister's family for Christmas, so there were lots of folks and a LOT of toys tossed together in one house.  The words controlled chaos come to mind.

Just think - there will be more stockings before too long 

Lots and LOTS of presents

We enjoyed the visit with family and friends.  It made coming back "home" to Birmingham a little bittersweet though; almost like we moved again.  I am so, so ready to get into a a routine here and find a playgroup for A!  Any takers?

The new year, like everything else lately, snuck up on us.  We had nothing fun or exciting planned, and did not stay up to see 2012 come.  Now that it's January and every "news" story on television has to deal with how to keep your resolutions, I'm feeling like I need to make some.  I don't usually do the whole "This year I will _____ " thing.  I am not sure why I don't; there's obviously nothing wrong with having goals and making resolutions.  I usually do it a few times throughout the year, committing to set my alarm every morning to get up for my quiet time, join a new Bible study, watch less TV, etc.  This year, however, I am sort of making some.  (How's that for being resolute, huh?)

1. Be more intentionally positive.  If you know me at all, you know that this is not actually a problem I have; I'm almost always an optimist, to the point of annoying many.  What I mean is to be more positive about stuff immediately around me, on purpose.  I am guilty of making Brad feel bad for leading us here to Birmingham several times recently.  I didn't mean to make him feel this way; I certainly don't regret the move at all.  Both times I was just being honest about something going on in A and I's day, like being alone at the park, or stuck at the house, or whatever, but it came across as complaining and awful to him.  I plan to be prayerfully, intentionally positive about the rest of this transition... even if it means not griping about this teeny tiny house.

2. Have the TV on less, especially when A is awake.  I don't sit and watch it for long, ever, but have it on as background noise.  She watches it though, so it's got to stop.  Ugh.

3. Initiate conversations with strangers.  Not exactly my strong suit, but it's got to help the whole making friends thing, right?

4. Pray more intentionally for A and her future.  I have been somewhat diligent in begging God for her salvation, but what about the years in between, and the years after?  I want to help guide who she will become, which must involve prayer for her, and for myself since she watches me and already copies things I do.

I am excited about the things God has in store for us in 2012.  I have no idea about some things, but I am hopeful, and I know He has it all planned out.

Oh and #5. Continue doing A's hair as high as possible.  :)

Addie peed all over my worship experience.

I personally believe that this could possibly describe all worship experiences had by parents of toddlers:

My child peed all over my worship experience.

She didn't literally pee all over it.  Afterwards.  On my newly-cleaned floor.  After bedtime.  And tracked pee down the hall.

Here's how it happened:  Tonight I went to Dawson's Candlelight worship service.  To say it was beautiful would be a vast understatement.  I've been before, but it's been a while and I don't remember loving it as much.  If you are in Birmingham tomorrow, Sunday the 18th, BE THERE.  I am often moved by music; it is one way that I enjoy worshiping.  I rarely cry, though.  Tonight the Holy Spirit used the music, the candlelight, my week, the old man singing "Silent Night" too fast and off key, and the random row of kids holding their candles awkwardly high to move me to tears.  Tonight I was reminded of why I used to live for singing.  I wish I could commit to something like a choir again.  But I digress...

Do you ever start doing "good" at something, and then let it go to your head?  That's me.  Always.  The moment I feel I can check things off my list, something changes - pride? arrogance? self righteousness? - takes over and I trick myself into believing I've accomplished something on my own.  When we moved here I was determined to be okay about all of it, but knew I would need the Lord's help.  I have been very specific to set my alarm early enough to do my quiet time before Addie wakes up and Brad gets home from his run.  I've really enjoyed reconnecting with college friend, etc.  I felt like the things I had done had made our move a success.  That, however, is where Satan sneaks in and takes root in our hearts in the form of bitterness.  For example...

This week has been more than a little iffy.  Brad's been gone all week and is coming home tonight.  (Yay!)  Addison is doing this somewhat new, super independent thing, and it has totally worn me out!   I am not unused to Brad being gone; as a youth minister in Pensacola, he was gone several weeks each summer.  Toddler Addison has made it considerably more difficult.  I also felt continuously more and more bitter about being alone this week, and away from our friends, and Brad's busy work schedule coming up, etc.  By Friday I was in one of those moods where you just want to stay on the couch watching (gasp!) Lifetime Christmas movies all day.  The Spirit did some talking to me yesterday and today.

I was certainly ready for and in need of a reminder of what Christmas is about!  When Addison and I got home from church I felt like a totally renewed person.  Then dinner (and throwing food) happened.  And after a shower she peed before I could get a diaper on her.  And tracked it down the hall.  In less than an hour and a half I was back to square one: not living as one in freedom and grace found in Jesus, but as one just barely making it through the day.

So now I am thinking in metaphors: pee = life.  Just as Addie's pee took me out of the "good" place the Holy Spirit had finally put me in, life can do the same to us.  We need to be on guard against the experiences that draw us away from our sweet Savior and the life He has for us.  To be on guard, we have to be in the Word, and remind ourselves that He is the creator of every good thing, attitude, experience.  In other words: I do nothing good on my own.  There are no words to tell how I wish this came naturally for me!

I heard a song tonight that was new to me: Joy, from Seed Family Ministry.  I could not write down the lyrics fast enough, but they were based out of Luke 2, when the Angel appeared to the shepherds and told them that Jesus would bring...

Joy that will be for all people....  Peace to men... on whom His favor rests.


It made me think about God's favor.  Oohh sigh.  How did I get this favor?  These many, many blessings?  Why was I lucky enough to?  Oh Lord, thank you for resting your favor on me!  Continue to do so.

Another song, That Night (Huff) made me think about how God the Father felt on Christmas.

And the Father rejoiced, for He did not lose His son, but regained those who had been lost. 


Imagine, God rejoiced that I was returned to Him, in spite of what it would cost Him.  Wow.


And now for the little toddler who "don't want too"...  Addison's newest phrase leads me to believe she doesn't want to do anything.  Ugh.

Waiting to see Santa....  She was not this excited when the moment came.

Caught eating oreo peppermint bark before we were finished.

Now may the joy that seems to pass us all by be yours this week as you celebrate a wonderful, Holy day.  Merry Christmas!