So, my heart has gotten quite a workout today. It started out fairly normal: I had several errands to run this morning and a gym class planned. We walked into the living room to find a HUGE ROACH in the kitchen! In case you don't know, I freak out over the three "Rs" - rodents, roaches, and reptiles (and amphibians, but that's a different story). He was upside down, so I thought it was dead. I was in the process of scooping him up with a big cup (I can't touch it, of course), when his legs started going and he tried to run away! I screeched and grabbed the broom from the garage to sweep him out. Once I got him in the broom, he, of course started crawling up the handle towards me! I am glad it was just Addie and I at the house, because I'm sure I looked outrageous: I was hopping from one foot to the other, in my pajamas, trying to get the broom out of the house, while holding it as far away from me as possible. By the time I got that stupid, disgusting, enormous roach outside and dead, both Rosco and Addison were considering leaving... probably together. They're the cutest pair; I'm sure they could find some nice, sane woman to take them in and love them. (By the way, I killed it by banging the broom handle against the house; I'm pretty sure the neighbor saw and also thinks I'm nuts. Get in line.)
That is crazy, you might think. Maile is nuts. You'd be correct. But it got worse... way worse. After the Roach Incident, I made breakfast and sat down with Addison. We finished and I cleaned her up. I'd just poured my coffee and put Addie down to play. I turned around to go back and grab my coffee when I saw it: A TINY BABY LIZARD! What? Two of the "big three," and I hadn't even had my coffee to cope yet! It wasn't even 7:30! Back to the broom! (Because although they gross me out, how can you kill a lizard?) This poor, unintelligent thing was trying to blend into the rug; close, little guy, but not quite. I moved all the chairs, and tried to gently sweep him towards the door. After a few minutes of slowly getting closer and closer to outside, I must have hit him too hard, because his tail came off! Seriously - there was a tiny, tiny, wriggling thing about two inches from the actual lizard, who was too stunned to move for a second. So was I!!! Again, there was screeching and hopping... way more than with a simple in-tact roach. Addison thought I was dancing and started swaying with me. It eventually took a cup and a large envelope to get that stupid little thing outside. Then I had to hunt down his tail. GROSS!
I'm pretty sure my sweet gal thought I was possessed this morning. Then again, she might think that every day.
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