Baby Barf

Nothing says "Good Morning!"  like baby barf.  Actually, it screams "GETUPGETUPGETUP! NOWNOWNOW!"  Every day.  For ten days.  Sometimes twice.

I have done more laundry in the last ten days than I did when Addison was a newborn and spit up every hour.  It's really ridiculous.  More on laundry later.

Poor Audrey has been battling the cold Addison gave her, the worst prolonged cough ever, a double ear infection, and she cut her first tooth this week.  It has been a perfect storm to lose sleep.  And to barf every time she has a coughing fit.  Now the big gal has re-caught the cold, and Brad and I both have the scratchy throats that come with too-little sleep.  It's tempting to go back to Why Are We Always Sick land, but with two kids in flu season I am pretty sure this is okay.  Or I think of my sister's sweet baby boy in the hospital for three days with RSV, pneumonia, a stomach bug, and dehydration, and I think we are pretty lucky indeed.  We are just cooped up.  And Addison is tired of having only her mama to talk to and asks "Can we go somewhere today?" every morning.  This virus has overtaken our house, our schedule, my washing machine, and my 7 experiment.

Last Saturday at a baby shower for my sweet friend Leslie, some friends asked if I felt like this "fast" I am doing was drawing me closer to God.  They were specifically talking about the literal fast from food, so I somewhat-honestly (and jokingly) answered no.  But that's not really true.  Check out the last three posts.  And, for me at least, each week of "fasting" becomes more and more personal.

My 7 Experiment last week was to participate in some sort of fast from clothes.  Because it was only a week, I felt like choosing seven items of clothes to wear would be a snap.  And it sort of was.  The only struggle came when all seven items had baby barf on them because I simply could not do laundry fast enough, haha.  The major issue for me came in thinking about how much crap I have accumulated in the clothes department.  Maybe not right now.  We have moved twice in the last year, and I did a decent purge/give-away each time.  But I had so much crap before that.  All stuff that I had a plan for.  Just in case I go back to work full time.  Just in case I lose all the baby weight.  Just in case I don't.  Just in case I have a party to go to where I need to wear a sparkly shirt.  My "just in case" plans are a little ridiculous.  Especially in light of the fact that there are women in our city who desperately need clothes.  And why do I have all this stuff anyway?  The Gap, Loft, Banana Republic and other stores totally have my number: "Let's send her an email every day telling her our stuff is on sale and she will come buy stuff she doesn't really need just because it looks cute and is $10."  I have a serious problem folks.  An I-buy-things-I-don't-need-and-wind-up-wasting-stuff-and-supporting-the-consumer-machine problem.  So I'm taking Jen Hatmaker's dare to extend my "fast" and not buy any clothing items for two months.  Hold me to it.  Let's see what happens.

Now, here is where it gets dicey: I downloaded this app from Free2Work that grades a lot of different brands/companies based on their efforts to eliminate child and forced labor in their supply chains.  This website and app have completely rocked my world.  Of the over 300 apparel brands graded, I was only familiar with some.  But I was complete disheartened by most of those.  Probably 80% of my children's clothes came from companies who scored a D-.  WHAT?!?!?  Seriously sickened.  The image of children without parents forced to work their little fingers to the bone so that my girls can have cute jammies with a dancing monkey on them makes me want to throw up.  Or worse, children sold to some big guy with a club by their parents for the same reason.  Ugh.  I am thrown into the prayer I should be praying all the time: Jesus!  Come back!  End this!  I actually find myself tearing up a little when Addison puts on said jammies.

I took a political science class in college that focused on slavery in the 21st century.  It completely tore me up.  My 20 year old self could not figure out what little old me could do about it.  Now my 31 year old self has one tiny option: don't buy their stuff.  There are plenty of brands I can buy that are not on Free2Work's website for various reasons, so in the meantime I will not purchase the ones that are graded below a B.  Decision made.

Where the rubber meets the road: Costco.  Fifteen different Carters spring dresses in matching designs for the girls at great prices.  I put two in my buggy and walked away.  Wait just one little second.  Sad, frowny faced Maile put them back.  Ten minutes later, I find a box of Hershey brand peanut butter cookie mix with the kisses included. We had these at Brad's parents' house recently.  Delicious.  Into the buggy.  Wait just one little second.  You've got it: Hershey was also graded poorly.  And M&Ms.  How will I live???  (www.Free2Work.org  Check it out.  Prepared to be disappointed.  It seems like such a little tiny thing for me to fight it alone.  But maybe we can do something with this little-by-little.)

This week the fast is dealing with possessions.  In the spirit of 7, I have picked seven categories of junk in our house to give away.  (And not just to dump at the steps of Goodwill.)  Because of the aforementioned purge of our stuff last year, I don't know how much we will be donating.  Perhaps my collection of well-worn mysteries needs to be given to a local library?  What about my huge box of "What if I go back to teaching and need these books as a resource" can go to a school or something.  And I know I have some kitchen stuff that could still go.  So go it will.  And clothes.  Maybe to a women's shelter?  I have started this week a little late due to the barf, but I am playing catch up this weekend.

The point of all this is that I am discovering more and more of who I am.  And I just don't love it.  I want to keep thinking that filling my house with stuff I want but don't need has nothing to do with the poor.  But I am like the folks Isaiah railed against, who he said were "crushing the poor."  In fact, I see myself too clearly in this quote from Jen Hatmaker:
       You care about all the wrong things: religion, not justice for the poor (see Isa. 1:11-17); self-  
       advancement, not orphans and widows (see 1:21-23); wealth, not worship (see 2:7-10); pride,
       not humility (see 2:11-18); shameless sin, not repentance (see 3:8-9).

If I sincerely desire to see God's Kingdom come sooner rather than later, what am I doing about it?  If I am buying what I want, when I want, without concern for who or what it might affect (other than my sometimes miserly husband, haha), am I not in fact crushing the poor?

If you know me, you know I am obsessive enough to turn this into a full time job and all I talk about.  My prayer now is not just for a heart-change regarding my excesses, but also a realistic desire about what I can do.  And the consistency to do it.

If you haven't read David Platt's Radical, or Francic Chan's Crazy Love, or Jen Hatmaker's 7, pick them up in your church's library.  Or my church's library.  To me, they all go together.  And point to where God is leading His church.  I want to be a part of His movement.