So I've had a bunch of different things on my mind lately, and not a lot of opportunities to share them, so here goes:
Abraham, Isaac, and Esau...?
Brad went to the Passion conference New Years Weekend.  There he heard lots of fantastic speakers like Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, John Piper, and more.  Brad came home talkative and full of stories.  (For those of you who know my sweet husby, you know he has a word maximum every day, and it's pretty low... it's rare he's talkative about anything.)  One sermon Brad relayed to me has really struck a chord with me; I keep playing what I imagine this preacher said in my head, and one thought keeps ringing true.
Genesis 25:30-34 talks about Esau coming in from hunting famished.  He's so hungry that he agrees to trade his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew.  I'm hungry so often I'm always saying things like "I'm starving to death!"  Beyond just food, we're all hungry for something.  What Heavenly blessings (birthrights) have I given up to be satisfied for the moment?  Let's face it: just like when we say we're "starving," sometimes the things we claim to "need" are simply things we want.  If we let our appetites lead us, who knows where we'll end up?  Who knows what we'll end up doing?  If you're like me, its probably something that seems "good" at the time, but has no real Kingdom value.  Then, to put an Eternal spin on it, Brad put it this way: could the line of David have started with "Abraham, Isaac, and Esau"?  Did Esau seriously give up the opportunity to father the nation that would be God's chosen people for a bowl of soup?  Yes.  Wow.  It stops me in my tracks to think about what long-lasting decisions I might be making daily, based on my whimsical appetite.

"Me" messages
I have a fantastic life.  I have a wonderful husband who goes out of his way to take care of us.  I need to say that upfront, so that you don't think I'm bashing him.  There are days, some more than others, when my "me!" attitude gets in the way of appreciating all the good things in my life.  For example: If I go to work, get home and feed/put Addison down for nap by 2, I may start the laundry and do some cleaning and check my email then get dinner started.  If later, when dinner is over and we've cleaned up afterward, Brad leaves his jacket on the chair, I tend to get an attitude.  I'll say things like "I've been straightening up all day!  Can't you do anything to help out?"  He doesn't need me fussing or yelling about it any more than I need him leaving junk all over the place.
I really think God has a will for even our daily lives, especially our responses to daily activities.  My response, no matter what the situation or who I'm dealing with, should be one of patience and love.  People are forever talking about "What's God's Will for my life?" as if it's some crazy big thing, far out there for us to be searching for.  I do believe it's something crazy-big, and far out there, but I also believe there's stuff all around us to do in the mean time that's a part of His will.

"At the end of me..."
This is the title of the first chapter in the book I'm reading Passport Through Darkness, by Kimberly Smith, the speaker for our women's retreat this year.  The book is kicking my butt.  Just think about the first chapter, "At the end of me."  Like you'd imagine, it describes the process she went through to find the end of herself, so that she could be imersed in where and what God wanted her to be.  As a minister's wife, sometimes I feel one of two somewhat-ridiculous things: (1) I can't do any more; my place of ministry is at Brad's side, with whatever he's doing.  This is somewhat true; I feel like we're a good pair because we both have similar hearts for people, especially for kids.  It's false because there are plenty of other places I need to be serving!  I could really get into the habit of using this as a cop-out.  (2) I should be doing so much more because my husband's a minister; I need to be at church every opportunity, no matter what. 
I've been praying a lot recently that God will work through my life to show me specific places He wants me to be serving.  I get nervous thinking about praying this, though... what if He demands a huge change in me?  What if it calls for a sacrifice beyond what I'm comfortable with?  A sacrifice from time with Brad or Addison?  (HELLO!  That's what a sacrifice is!)  So I go around and around: "God use me and show me where you want me."  Then, "keep me here, and comfortable."  It's a good thing our sweet Savior has more patience than I do!  He is beyond patient and loving even before I find the end of myself. 

Blood tests and Tumors
My sister is pregnant.  I'm beyond excited for her and Bill, and can't wait till they get to experience the wonder of parenthood.  She had a somewhat scary result from a blood test this week, regarding the baby, and we won't know the real results until the baby get's here, but in the meantime we think the baby is healthy and growing well.  The unknown is pretty nervewracking.  My mom has a tumor on her right ovary.  We don't think it's cancer, but don't know for sure yet.  These things have served to slow me down, and think about where I am and what I've got. 

Sustaining Grace
God's sweet grace is not just in Salvation.  Don't get me wrong, I am a sinner saved by the grace of God alone.  But He didn't just reserve it for saving me... I get some every day.  So do you.  Did your kid yell for 3 hours straight and you managed to not pull our hair out, or lock him in his room?  Sustaining Grace.  Did your husband leave his dirty dishes on your freshly-washed counter and you didn't fuss or freak out?  Sustaining Grace.  Have you had 32 co-workers ask you the same ridiculous question about something you really did not to share with them, and you politely handled them all?  Sustaining Grace.  Saving Grace, by nature, overshadows Sustaining Grace, but I think the latter is still pretty important.  Last night in my Bible study I heard Beth Moore say that maybe the every day, sustaining grace is miraculous, and we're just so used to it that we don't even notice it.

Sometimes I get bogged down before the day even begins: I wake up, read my Bible and study for a few minutes, shower and get ready, get Addie up (although she usually wakes up when I do) and changed, nurse her, get her and I some breakfast ready, eat with her, fix our lunches, put clothes on both of us, walk out the door... GOOD GRIEF!  Is that the end of me?  Probably not.  I do think it's part of my sweet Savior's sustaining grace that by 8am I'm calm and collected and, well, sane.  It's right where I want to be right now it's where I've chosen to be.  And I'm abundantly blessed to be here.

Six Months!

I cannot believe I have a six month old!  We went for our check up this morning and all is well - 26 inches long and 15.9 pounds!  Every time I turn around Addison is doing something new. 
Here are some pictures of her many adventures the past two weeks...

playing with Mommy's cell

Look at my new kitchen!

Addison's first time swinging... "who cares about the swing, when I can play with this cute Cath Kidston bag?"

We did get one brief smile...

... and now its back to being in love with the bag.

see that mat behind her?  That's where she started out.  She scooched that far!

more play time with the pretty bag

Trying to hold hands with our friend Will

getting stuck under the coffee table is fun!

this one's a doozy

Did I spell that right?  doozy?  That's a weird word, but it says a lot.  I typed that to imply that if you don't plan to sit still for a while, you may not want to start reading this entry... and to identify the types of days that can sneak up on you, and suddenly it's 8pm and you want to be in bed already.  A doozy.  adj.  not necessarily a negative term, but one that describes an extra-ordinary event or series of events  a time period, in this case.

get your own presents, Mom

Merry Christmas! 
Can people not say this any more?  As Brad and I were driving home from my sister's house in Texarkana, I was thinking about this.  A woman in a children's store in Arkansas looked at me like I was a little nuts when I wished her a "Merry Christmas" as I checked out on December 23.  Was that weird?  I've found myself actually forgetting to say it to people this year, which is very unlike me.  At least the lady in Dillards smiled when we said it to her.  I guess it's out of the ordinary.

and yes, her hair is long enough for bows! Brad doesn't like them, and keeps taking them out

Christmas in Texarkana was different.  Malia and Bill kind of live in the country, outside of town.  There were lots of people, which meant lots of cooking.  The boys got bored sometimes... they went in the back yard and "shot stuff" or "burned stuff."  Addison was spoiled rotten; when we got home she suddenly couldn't remember how to play by herself! Malia and Bill are going to have a baby!  She's due June 28th, and I'm super excited for them.  Everyone got too many presents (none of which I'm sorry for, by the way), and Christmas dinner was great.  I hope you enjoyed yours as well!

the ribbon is way more fun than the present

Working
I'm not sure I should be working.  I mean, I like my job.  I like the people I work with.  It's perfect for someone who wants to have their child right there with them, and who wants to be involved in things in our children's ministry, but I may need an attitude adjustment.  And a clear head.  And a desk all to myself.  :)  (I usually share a desk with whoever else is passing through the office.  This week, though, the preschool has been out, so I got tons of work done, even today when I had to take Addison with me!)  Here is my delima, for all the blogosphere, or whatever, to read: I know that the Lord is the Great Provider, and He will provide us with the means to provide Addison with what she needs as she needs it.  As Brad says, I don't have to work right now, but in my mind I go back to this "Provider" personality of our sweet savior and remind myself that maybe this is Him providing for us for later.  I'm still in doubt, but I'll go back next week, and the next, until I'm clear about it one way or another.  I kinda feel like someone helping in a ministerial capacity should probably know, though.  I'm praying for clarity.

Moving
My child is moving!  In the last two weeks she's started sitting up on her own, and rolling from back to front (she's been rolling from front to back for a couple of months).  This has led to all sorts of new adventures: rolling across the floor to get to something she wants.  (Brad found her tucked in next to the fireplace last night when he stepped away for a moment.)  Doing a face-plant from the sitting position onto the floor in order to roll to a toy she can't reach.  (It's pretty funny to watch her do this; like some sort of contortionist.  But she won't do it if she can see you watching her.)

Grunting
Addison has started making this new, annoying noise.  (I'm making it right now to demonstrate, but you can't hear me.)  It's almost like she's trying to leave me a gift in her diaper to change, but she's not.  I think it's her way of expressing dislike for something.  Or maybe she just likes the noise.  Either way, it's not fun to hear, but she's doing it a lot.

Teething
Is she or isn't she?  I've thought she was teething a couple of times in the last 2 months.  Now, though, she's smacking her gums, and drooling even more than before (which is remarkable), and not sucking on her paci, but biting it.  Addison has woken up after only 45 minutes of naps the last two days, and she can't seem to get settled down.  And sometimes early from night-time sleep.  I rock and rock her, or sing to her, or walk with her, or jostle her, or do all of it, and she's not happy.  That is VERY unlike my sweet-natured gal.  In fact, as I type, my almost-six-month old is swinging in one of those infant swings (but not asleep, mind you) because my arms were falling asleep trying to get her settled back down.  We had to deal with this a lot at night in her first two months, but she weighed significantly less back then!  I can only assume-and desperately hope-that this unhappy, slightly grumpy, definitely sleepy girl will go back to her "usual" self once this tooth comes through?  Is it too much to hope?

3rd Annual Cookie Swap

Well today Addison and I hosted our Cookie Swap - my 3rd, her 1st.  Addison genuinely loves anything where people are around, so she had a ball.  (Lots of people holding her and telling her she was cute - I think we have a Priss Pot on our hands!  We'll have to work on that later.)  We had 11 adults, 7 kids, and a ton of sweets!  Several of our friends could not make it, and we missed them, but hopefully they can make it next year. 



Brad's not a fan of Addison & Henry here 



I love having this little get-together for my friends every year... really I love just getting together and having time to sit around and talk.  The good food is a bonus.  I do love hosting it too!  I love pulling out all my Christmas stuff to serve on, wrapping my cabinets like Christmas presents, and baking some yummy snacks for us to munch on.  If you love the TV show "Friends" like I do, picture Monica here, dreamily saying, "I am always the hostess."  I'm not always the hostess, and that's good, but I enjoy it when I am.  I didn't really do a very good job this year with this: I didn't describe the "swap" part of the party on the evite; I didn't tell people how many cookies to bring, and I forgot to have people bring copies of their recipes!  (I'm exceptionally bummed about this last part, because I want to know how to make some of these, and now I can't remember who brought what to ask!)  Here are some pictures of the kids... we forgot before some people left, and then had a hard time getting everyone on the couch together.  Oh well.

Reese, Clayton, Henry, and Addison



Emma & Savannah



I think it looks like Addison is seriously considering something Reese is explaining

  My new hobby (sort of) has been sewing.  I've had a sewing table set up in our den for two months, working on various projects.  A dress, a onesie with a Christmas tree on it, a few bows, etc.  None of them are fantastic, but I've enjoyed playing around.  Brad keeps reminding me that I can find "those things" at a store, but it has been fun!  This dress here was my first "big project," and while I was working on the sleeves I guess the word fun didn't really come to mind.  It turned out pretty cute though.  When I was confused about a couple of aspects of the pattern, I kept picturing that "Saved by the Bell" episode where they sew clothes for Lisa, and someone (maybe Kelly?) sews herself into a sleeve.  That's an oldie but a goodie. 

Addison and I have been singing and dancing to all sorts of Christmas carols lately.  She seems to like them, but then she likes any kind of music.  It's putting me in the Christmas spirit, though.  I bought my last present today, and mailed my cards yesterday, so all that's left is to enjoy this special time of year!

I hope whenever you're reading this, and whatever you're doing, you're having a fantastic day, and a Merry Christmas!



Merry Christmas!

Well, December has rushed in like nothing else, hasn't it?  I guess it always does this, but I'm typically surrounded by calenders and lesson plans and schedules and football season that spills into basketball season, so I was a little more aware of the speeding time bomb that is the holiday season.  haha!  This year it's been diapers and giggles and drool and pulling Addison's feet out of her mouth.  Needless to say, I haven't really paid a lot of attention to calenders!
November was busy, and Addison is now quite an experienced traveller!  The week before Thanksgiving we headed to Nashville for the National Youth Workers Convention with Brad.  We met some new folks, saw some old friends, and spent a few days roaming around downtown Nashville.

Brad & Addie with our friend Sam & his daughter Lindley

 We were in town for barely 24 hours before we turned around to head to Callaway Gardens for Thanksgiving.  We met Britton and Brian and the boys, along with Missy and Pop for a weekend of fun!  We had lots of good food and lots of fun, and came home pretty worn out.

Three of the McPhersons were sick, so it was inevitable we would get the funk that's been going around their house.  I got it this week, and am praying that Brad and Addie stay in the clear.  I started my new job as children's ministry assistant this week, and, other than feeling crummy, enjoyed the company and the change of pace... I missed the mornings with my gal, though. 

No Harness for us, thank you very much

Well, yet another prayer has been answered!  Last week at Addison's 4 month check up, her doc said he "definitely felt something" when he did the hip portion of her physical exam, so we scheduled an ultrasound to check for congenital hip displacement.  This is apparently routine for breech babies, but for a number of reasons we didn't get it done earlier like some many babies do.  If they have it, babies are fitted with a harness of sorts, that basically holds the hips in place so that the ligaments and everything grows together "correctly." 
So I read a little about it online (my friend Denise said Brad should put a parental lock on "WebMD"), worried about it just enough to ask my friends for prayer for it, and then proceeded to pray the condition away.  We went this morning and the ultrasound showed nothing out of the ordinary.  Yay and praise God!

I should have known there was nothing wrong; she can eat her toes and isn't fazed by anything!

Last week our friend Lindsey came to take some portraits of Addison and our family.  She did an amazing job!  All the pictures are beautiful!  This may be my favorite one: Rosco is all in Addie's face, and she's not worried about it at all.  I think Brad and I fussed about this more than she did!  Our laid-back gal is a trooper

So I'm reading the book Half Broke Horses, by Jeannette Walls.  It's really fantastic; a memoir, but one that's written as if you're sitting down listening to someone talk-- my favorite kind of book to read.  The other day I read something that's had me thinking about the human condition.  A mom is talking to her daughter about animals on a ranch, and she says, "Animals act like they hate to be penned up, but the fact is, they don't know what to do with freedom.  And a lot of times it kills them." 

The freedom this quote makes me think of is that which we receive through God's goodness and grace.  We were created to live in communion with God, but He provides us with the freedom to choose Him.  Don't get me wrong: I realize humans know what to do with freedom.  The problem is that we are sinful by nature and therefore often choose a path that leads us away from a walk in intimacy with Christ.  So we, whether by following a religion or on our own, design a "right" way of living and walking.  We make a list of "dos" and "don'ts," and often make our lives about following that list instead of devotion to the One who created the freedom we're allowed to enjoy.  This is what I kept thinking about while reading Walls' quote, "they don't know what to do with freedom... it kills them."  I think so often we kill the joy to be found in true communion with Christ.  And, perhaps even worse, we make our Relationship with Him about that list and show the world around us, which is filled with people desperate for someone to point them to Jesus, that a life with Him is limited.  How untrue!  A life with Christ is based on freedom beyond what we can imagine on our own! 

So, whether I'm making sense or not, my prayer is to learn to embrace the freedom found in Christ.

When did November get here???

No seriously- when did November get here?  Time has been absolutely flying by!  How do I already have a four month old?  Addison is huge and growing by the second!  This is her a week ago... notice the rolls?  She's longer than she was that day, and she's not as chubby.  These growth spurts are out of control!
 

Halloween was fun with Trunk or Treat at church.  Brad missed it; he left on the 30th for a mission trip to Haiti.  We missed him.  Our gal was a pink, glow-in-the-dark skeleton.  (The mohawk is natural-haha)    

 With Daddy in Haiti, Addie and I hit the road with Brad's mom to go meet the latest cousin, Jake.  It was a too-short visit with Britton and her clan, but we enjoyed it.  Here are some pictures we snapped with the boys.



Playing with Will



Here's Ben.  Notice Addie's nervous look?

Addison and Jake are only 3 months apart

I love this - a pj pic!  Look at all the sleepy heads!

The boys were so good with Addison.  They are all so precious.  Poor Matt had a fever and bad cough while we were there, so we tried to keep him away from the babies.  Addison was worn out from the week without her Daddy, trying to keep up with the big boys, and long drive home!